June 7, 2007

ANONYMOUS SIDE OF THE STORY

Well, I haven't been a fan of MCR for very long, but that doesn't matter. Last year, right before summer vacation started, I went to the store and bought MCR's CDs. I had a friend who never shut up about them and a little extra birthday money so I figured, why not. I had no clue how much I would need those albums in the months to come. That summer I sunk into a deep depression. It was worse that it had ever been before. I felt completely hopeless. I wasn't sleeping (when I did, I slept until 7:00 PM and the only reason I woke up then was to watch "Friends" reruns), I wasn't eating, and I hardly left my room. I knew I had finally reached the bottom when I started planning my suicide. But you know why I never killed myself that summer? My Chemical Romance. I listened to their music and they saved me. They let me know that someone cared and that I wasn't alone. Their music is was so beautiful and so full of hope and that was what I needed.

But later, once school started, things got bad again. I couldn't handle it all. Everything that was happening was too much for depressed, weak little me. I had even started slitting my wrists. One night, I finally decided to end it. I couldn't take it anymore. I was so alone and no one cared. So that night, I sat there, ready to die. If I had moved, it would've been over. But luckily, earlier, I had put on MCR's "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge." Which I had been listening to a lot but not really "listening" too, you know what I mean? I wasn't listening to the message anymore. But at that moment I did. I again heard what they were saying. They wanted to save me. They wanted me to live. Again, I was filled with hope, the knowledge that someone cared, and the feeling that I had a purpose. So I figured, "They're just as messed up as me, and they made it! So why can't I?" I now have not harmed myself in quite some time. Though there are still moments when the urge to cut is great, that is then overpowered by the message of My Chemical Romance.

MCR are my saviors, and I feel, my best friends for they are the people who best understand me and probably the ones who care the most about me. Thank you MCR, you fucking saved me.