June 6, 2007

BREANNA'S SIDE OF THE STORY

I had always been a fan of My Chemical Romance, even before they saved my life. I remember hearing their song on the radio, and I had loved it. I had actually set it as my cellphone ring tone.

It was a morning like anything else, for everyone else. For me, it was another nightmare, where my goals for the day were to get up, survive the rumors, the hate crimes, and just go back to bed. I was alone in everything. I had no friends at school. After all, who wants to be friends with the gothic lesbian freak? No one. Exactly.

The hate crimes were more than aweful. I'm talking about kids cornering me, and burning my skin with lighters, matches, and anything else you could think of until I passed out. They would beat me, kick me while I sleeped, until I woke up somewhere else, aching all over.

I have had enough with these people, with everyone and everything. It was all just meaningles to me. What could anyone else possibly know about me?

I was sitting in the bathroom on a Monday morning. My dad was at work, my mom was at the store. They both thought I had gone to school. I needed this day to be my last. I needed it to look like a horrid accident, so my parents wouldn't be faced with the greif of knowing their daughter took her own life. But I couldn't figure out how to make it look like an accident. Until about five minutes before it happened.

I had made myself throw up my breakfast, so I could pull of the thing that I was sick. Also, I wanted to be as empty as I felt. Then, I actually downed an entire bottle of painkillers in three gulps. After that, I stripped of all my clothes and stood in the shower. I turned the water on, and placed a bar of soap in the bottom of the tub, and pushed the plug down in the bottom of the shower, so the water would start filling up.

My story: I had been taking a shower and slipped on a bar of soap, fell down, got knocked out, and drowned. I finally felt the pain killers start to take their affect. I felt lightheaded and tired.I felt my eyes roll in the back of my head as I fell into the tub. I don't know how long I was lying in there, my head below the water. It could have been minutes or hours for all I knew. Just as I was about to let go, I heard a loud, ear splitting sound. The My Chemical Romance ringtone on my phone was going off. I knew I couldn't die listening to that sound, no, my death was supposed to be quiet and peaceful dammit. I slowly sat up, feeling my energy burning. I reached out over the edge of the tub and picked up my phone. I flipped it open, and saw that my mom had sent me a my chemical romance video. It was almost ironic, and coincidental.

It showed Gerard yelling to the crowd, telling them that wasting their life on depression was pure bullshit. That got me. I immediatly called my mom back, telling her I had done something really stupid, and she needed to go the hospital immediatly. Then I called 911.

Needless to say. I'm better now. I go to therapy daily, and I talk to my mom a lot. When she asked me what made me call her, and get help, I simply say, "My Chemical Romance saved my life".

- Breanna, 13