June 7, 2007

CAROLINA'S SIDE OF THE STORY

I have never actually been suicidal so MCR hasn't saved my life. I would still be alive if I haven't start listening to them almost 2 years ago, or at least I think so. I don't know how my life would have been, I'm just glad I did start listening to them. They changed my live, into the better. I've always thought low off myself (and still does) but it actually gets better when I listen to MCR. I don't know why, sometimes I don't even have to listen to them, it's enough to see a picture. They just mean everything to me.

In the end of 2005 I almost didn't eat anything and when I did I got panic and ran into the toilet and put my fingers down my throat. That was mostly because I almost didn't have any friends in school, there were 3 people that I hung out with just so I wouldn't be alone all the time. But they did always say things just to make me upset or sad, like call me fat, ugly and always say bad things about MCR (if that happens now, I don't care but I did then). I started to skip school a lot and were almost never there. And when I was I just listened to MCR in my headphones, it felt better in some way then. In March of 2006 my parents found out somethings through reading my diary (NEVER write a diary and leave it on your desk!) and fixed so I could change school in the middle of the year. That helped a lot, and the first day I wore my MCR shirt. After a year in that school I now have twice as many friends that I had under 4 years in my last school.

Last year in September when I was in a period when I just felt like I didn't care about anything anymore, I didn't have anything to look forward to. Everyday were just the same. And then I found out that MCR were gonna come here for the first time. I know this is gonna sound all teenie, but I started crying when I found out. I was just so happy, I was actually gonna see my favorite band live for the first time. And then in November I saw them, it was actually the best day in 2006. Just being at the front row exactly in the middle and singing along to every word. That's probably one of the best feelings that I've had. And this probably doesn't makes any sense and my English isn't that good but I just wanted to write anyway.

And another thing, I got some of my best friends now from Internet, when we met on Swedish communities and then started talking about MCR. And some of them have really helped me, it was easier for me to talk to them about serious things than talking to someone that knew me in real life. And I would never had known them if it wasn't for MCR.

-Carolina, 15, Sweden