June 6, 2007


I was like 10 years old and I had one younger sister and two brothers. My mother was an alcoholic. She got married two times after she broke up with my father and the second husband was like the demon himself... Every day after school I had to pick up my brother from nanny and I made something to eat for all of us. My mom was in bar with his husband and I think they enjoyed being there more than they cared about us. I never had my homeworks done or I didn't spend time with my friends. I was bullied in school and I got really depressed because I hadn't anybody to talk to, plus I had to be very responsible.

It got worse. We had just moved and my mother has a party in our place. She drank lots of alcohol and took drugs. I had enough. I took my siblings with me and we went to our grandmother's place. My mom tried to get us back home (she was drunk again, hooray), but I didn't want to go. I was there the whole summer and couple days before school I finally got home - but first I told my mother how bad I felt because of her and I prayed that she'd stop drinking. She promised. After a week that promise she started to drink again.

My mom made contact with the child welfare board and me and my sister went to the foster home for a while. We were there a week and then they sent us back home. I was so depressed that I just wanted to die. I could not go to live with my father because he didn't want me there.

One weekend me and my sister were spending time with our dad and we decided to stay over the night. I woke up next morning and my mother had died. I feel guilty 'cause I never had a change to say sorry or goodbye to her. My brothers went to live with their own dad and I moved in my father's place with my littlesister. I was still bullied in school and I had lost all my friends. I cut myself and I didn't eat anything in three days. I was so sad and I didn't want to go to my mom's funeral. I wasn't able to cry anymore.

I was 13 years old when I started to listen My Chemical Romance. Their music helped me to get through my mom's death and I stopped hating myself. Now I'm 15 and MCR is still huge part of my life and I respect them very much. Sometimes I get depressed because my father drinks a lot but I think that after all I've gone through I can get through of everything. I've never told about this to anyone but now I'm brave to say that I'm not afraid. Thank you My Chemical Romance for existing and saving my day so many times!

- Emily, 15, Finland