June 7, 2007

JESSICA'S SIDE OF THE STORY

I've been listening to My Chemical Romance from the very beginning. They are truly one of the BEST bands I have ever listened to. My story is probably the same as others' stories but to me, it's special. In 2002, I moved away from some of the best friends I had ever made. They meant everything to me. When I lived there [Indiana], I had a very very very best friend named Tommy. He was like a brother to me. We did everything together. We were inseperable. I was 11 that year and Tommy was thirteen.

The year before that, I could see that he was changing. He wasn't being himself and he started distancing himself from everyone, even me. I soon learned that he was depressed. That was really had for me to comprehend. I didn't understand how he could be depressed. The next year, 2002, things got even worse. He became even more depressed and he soon began self-harm. That hit me like a blow to the stomach. What hurt me even more, was that he didn't even try to talk to me about it. He just kept everything inside. About two months before I moved, the worst thing I could ever imagine happened.

My best friend had killed himself.

I just couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. It hurt me too much to know that my best friend in the entire world was gone. My parents didn't exactly help.

I wasn't allowed to go to his funeral. I wasn't allowed to talk to his sister, who was only nine. I wasn't even allowed to say anything to his parents.

I soon became depressed myself. I started following in Tommy's footprints. I too began self-harm. I didn't want to but he had once told me that the pain wasn't pain at all, but more of a release of the pain. I thought that that was what I needed. I needed to get away from all the pain around me. I never really had the guts to commit suicide. I guess I just didn't want my family to have to go through what Tommy's family had to go through. I started to make friends where my new house was. One of them introduced me to MCR. I immediatly fell in love. After just a month and a half of listening to their music, I stopped cutting myself. It was like their music gave me a way to escape from the pain, but in a nonviolent way. They were, and still are, many times where I wanted to start cutting myself again. And times when I just wanted to kill myself and end the pain completely. But then I just put on MCR and I actually listened to the words. They have saved my life in so many ways. And on so many days.

I've had people tell me I'm emo. Or try to label me in some other way. They tell me to go listen to My Chemical Romance and go slit my wrists. If only they knew the truth. My parents have told me that they don't really like MCR and they kind of have the same opinion as other adults. They think that the lyrics are telling us to go die and what not. But some of them just need to listen to the music and not just look at the cd covers and pictures of the band itself. I made my mom listen to 'Three Cheers' and to 'The Black Pararde'. And to my surprise, she loved them. If more adults just put theirselves in our shoes and saw the world the way we do, they would be able to understand why we love MCR and what they do and what their music says to us.

I am happy to say that My Chemical Romance's lyrics and what Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Bob, and Ray do, have made me a happier person. A person who actually wants to live.

-Jessica, 16