June 6, 2007

KRISTIE'S SIDE OF THE STORY

Hi, I'm Kristie and I'm not what most people would call your typical My Chemical Romance fan because of my age, I'm 32yrs old. But just like so many other people, they have saved me too. I first found out about them in July of 2005. I'd recently had surgery done on a shunt I have in my brain and while I was recuperating I wasn't able to leave the house. 

I'd gotten really depressed, not caring about much of anything anymore. Because I'd had so many health problems before the surgery that I thought were going to magically go away once the surgery was done and they didn't. I'd been told about how easy the recovery from this surgery should be and for me, it wasn't. I mean, the problems I'd had like the muscle spasms and one of my eyes crossing were fixed with the surgery but I didn't go back to the way I felt before. I never felt good anymore. 

One day, I was just playing around on the net, talking to some of my friends and reading on a forum I used to go to. There was a thread on what music we were all listening to which was strange because we hardly ever discussed music there. I read through the tons of posts about county singers that were popular among the members of that forum, none of which I was interested in, then came across one post about a punk band called My Chemical Romance. The girl who wrote it mentioned how wonderful their new song "Helena" was and how much she loved it. She also mentioned their gorgeous singer, Gerard. I'll admit, not being a punk fan at the time, I looked them up on the net so I could see this gorgeous guy. Well, I found their website and saw pics of Mr. Gorgeous, which I didn't think were so hot. Lol. But then, I saw that the Helena video was on there so I decided to listen. Surprisingly to me, I thought it was pretty good. At least good enough that I wanted to learn more about them. 

So, being bored and having nothing else to do, I decided to look up information on them. The more I read, the more I realized what cool guys they were. I kept coming across all of these articles about how they started the band to help people, which for some reason, is not at all what I expected to find. I spent alot of my free time after that trying to learn more about them. I checked out their other songs on their site, including "I'm Not Okay" which really struck me because it sounded like I could've written something like that myself. All of the emotions behind it were things I had been experiencing for years. That's the moment when I realized, these guys knew exactly what I was going through, that I wasn't going through it alone anymore. I'd also been seeing Helena on MTV alot and the more I saw it, the more I liked that too. 

Those songs along with the interviews and articles I read were what made me love them. I loved them because I realized that not only were they an amazing band, they were five wonderful, caring guys. I read articles about Gerard's past and all of the things he'd overcome with his depression and addictions and because I'd been through those things too, he's an inspiration to me. He's made me realize, if he can go through those things to get to where he is now, I can get through it too. 

Before finding out about MCR, I'd attempted suicide several times. Since then, suicide isn't something I've thought about even ONCE. Yes, there have been times when I wanted to die, but I haven't given one thought to taking my own life since I started listening to MCR. They've made me realize that no matter how bad things get, you don't give up on life. That's why it bothers me so much when people say they encourage their fans to hurt themselves because they do the exact opposite of that. They encourage their fans to get help, keep fighting and get the most out of life. Used to it pissed me off when I'd read some of the things that people said about them. But now, even though I try not to let it bother me, it HURTS me to read those things. Because I know what these guys have done for me and for so many of my friends and I'm so thankful to them for that. I love them with all my heart and always will. 

Since first finding out about them, I've had other health problems. The most recent has kept me on bedrest for a little over a year. It's MCR that has kept me going through all of this. There's no doubt in my mind that they are the only reason I'm still here. Without them, I'd have given up long ago. They give me hope and something to look forward to when I wake up every day. When things are bad and I want to give up, I don't because I know that even though it might feel like I don't have anything to live for, I know I have them and their music. They've helped me in so many ways and one of the most important is that thanks to them and MCRF, I've met the best friends I've ever had in my life. They're not just my friends, they're my family. They're there for me no matter what, to help me through anything. They don't judge me and try to make me be something I'm not, I've never had that before. Not even from my family. I owe MCR so much and I will always be thankful to them, they've given me something to hang onto when I felt like letting go. They've saved my life.

-Kristie, 32, Georgia