June 7, 2007

NIKKI'S SIDE OF THE STORY

Many people just see My Chemical Romance as a band, but I see them as so much more. You see, everything was going wrong in my life, especially since sixth grade. It was the beginning of seventh and so far it was just a bad repeat of last year. And I was so very fed up with my parents fighting, and my sister whining, my brother had dropped out of school, and I was so close to the end. Someone had suggested a therapist, but what was the point of telling a complete stranger my problems? They also suggested telling my friends, but why burden them with something that wasn't their problem, they had enough on their plate already.

All my friends know that I love music. So one day I went on MTV.com. It was the day after the VMAs. I went to watch the highlights and found a band that my sister used to listen to before she listened to rap. It was called My Chemical Romance. I watched them play their new song "Welcome to the Black Parade" and immediately fell in love with them. I watched it over and over. Then I went to danceage.com and listened to their CDs. I couldn't stop thinking about them. I talked about them, dreamt about them, thought about them, watched their videos, and listened to them for two days straight. They became the thing that I leaned on for support. It seemed that they understood me. Even though I had never met them, it seemed as if there was a connection. So a week after I learned about them, I went out and bought their second CD. I listened to it everyday, and annoyed my friends with all the facts that I know about them. I put pictures of them all of my "room".

My parents just think it's teen angst. My sister won't let me talk about them. I have their new CD, I got the last limited edition at FYE. I still haven't got their first CD, but I will. I had a chance to go to a concert a while ago, but my mom is deadly afraid of Chicago, so I couldn't. And I don't think I'll ever forgive them for not letting me go see the band that has gotten me through so much.

One night I was watching Fuse, it was Loaded and they were showing the Used. While I was watching the TV, all the horrible memories I had shoved in the back closet of my mind poured out. It's like I had to live them over. All the friends yelling at me and using me. All the times I had been called a disgrace to my family. Everytime someone whispered something about me behind my back. It was horrible. I just broke down crying. So I did like I usually did, and went to listen to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, because this was before the new CD came out. But it wouldn't work, I kept crying like I was in severe physical pain, when really it was emotional.

I had decided to go on the computer when the crying had subsided. I got on to youtube.com, but could find nothing of their new songs. So I went to music.aol.com (or music.aol.com I can never remember which). It turned out that they had a new episode of Sessions, with who else but My Chemical Romance. I listened to the new songs over and over, and it seemed that since I was going through pain, that it would heal it, but it did so much more. It told me that although this pain wasn't normal, it was a part of life that I had been dealt in the cards that God had given me.

You can clearly see that My Chemical Romance is just so much more than a band to me. They are the thing I would lean on everytime something went wrong. I would rely on them just to get me through a day. But my friends only see them as a band, and think that I'm just some crazed fan. They'll never truly know why I like My Chemical Romance, or what they mean to me. I've told a few people of how close I was to killing myself. They were all shocked. But then, I told them the reason I didn't. And it was My Chemical Romance. No one sees how a band saved my life. But they did. And I'm grateful for that everyday.

I'm not saying that things still aren't tough, but when I listen to My Chem, every problem seems to go away.

MCR is not emo. They do not support self mutilation or harm. They want the kids that follow them to know that it's okay to be "fucked up". That society's idea of "normal" is somewhat of a sham. And no one really is. And anyone who thinks that MCR wants you to kill yourself, obviously hasn't read anyone's story on MySpace. Go to any fansite for My Chemical Romance, and you'll see that some people were very close to killing themselves. But stopped, only because someone told them that they belonged with others. My Chemical Romance.

-Nikki, 13, Michigan City, Indiana