June 6, 2007

SAM'S SIDE OF THE STORY

When i got into them i wasnt really depressed or anything. I just had seen "I'm not okay (i promise)" loads of times on Kerrang! TV, and loved the way it sounded. I bought Three cheers for sweet revenge a short while later, and it took me a while to get into - it was very different to a lot of what i was listening to at the time. I guess i was kind of miserable around the time, but not seriously so.

Eventually, i started to get depressed. I felt so incredibly alone - i was 14 without ever having had a girlfriend, and longing for one so badly. I just wanted to be loved, and to give love. It didn't help that people who i considered close friend were mercilessly taking the piss out of me continuously for it. They never stopped to consider the damage it was doing to me. I started become reclusive, drawn in, paranoid and distrusting. I started feeling close to know one, not even my family.

Eventually, i realised what MCR were trying to do, and the revelation that they were there for me affected me greatly. I became so close to them, listening to them on repeat, just seeking the comfort i got in their sound. Every time i felt down, they would pick me up when no-one else cared. All the pain i felt they helped me with. I became (and still am) obsessed with them, their every word, their every action, everything. They were the only thing i trusted.

Leading up to and after my 15th birthday, i became suicidally depressed. I just wanted to die, just so that i wouldn't have to keep living being told i would never find love. But, as always, MCR were there for me. So many times when i've been trying to get to sleep (when all my demons come out...) i was entertaining suicide, before realising what i was doing. Immediately, i would say through gritted teeth at the anger of it all, "My. Chemical. Romance" and tears would well up, and i felt like i could get through it.

Possibly the most important thing they have done for me in recent times was as follows: a friend introduced me to this girl (who i'm not going to name) via msn, saying that she could possibly be a bigger MCR fan than me (as if...) and so me and the girl started talking and such. We eventually met at a bowling alley with some other friends. I thought she was really cute and sweet, and i liked what i knew about her from talking on msn. I received a text from the friend who introduced us the next day (i had actually seen MCR at the wembley arena on the black parade tour the day before the bowling) asking wether i liked her. I said i did. He then said she really liked me. So i asked her out and he said yes. We fell in love. I'm finally beoming happy with my life.

They were there for me when i needed it, are here for me now if needed, and will be there in the future if i ever need them again.

- Sam, 15, England