October 8, 2008

KIM'S SIDE OF THE STORY

My name's Kim, and I know I'm not one of the worst cases or suicidal stories or those who are bullied. But I know that My Chemical Romance has affected my life.

I was in a state of depression about a year ago, and My Chemical Romance was one of the things that helped me stay alive. Yes, I did have suicidal thoughts, but I knew I could never do it because honestly, I was too afraid to even cut.

My Chemical Romance helped me think through things, soothed me with their music. Calmed me down. They made me what I am today, and I am grateful for that.

The most important reason I was depressed was because I honestly didn't think my parents loved me. And when I thought about it, I became even more in grief because I would tell myself how stupid it was that I was depressed. I thought that I was doing all of this on purpose to receive some sort of attention, and not a real reason.

I have friends, two close friends that are suicidal, six people who have cut before, one who was raped by two of their own close friends and also abused by their father, a sibling who was surly suicidal and depressed, who cut and still has scars from so long ago...and I know it's very important to help, and I try. I've talked to all of them.

But I felt like that...I'm taking things too seriously sometimes; Like I...was doing this purposely...that I wasn't really as depressed as I thought I was. But even though I was telling myself that... I was still sad.. So it didn't really matter what the reason was that I was depressed...I just wanted it to stop. The reason I thought I wasn't really depressed and that it was in my head because I couldn't cut myself...and I thought just because I thought my parents didn't love me should be no reason to become depressed.

My Chemical Romance helped me realize how much it does matter how I feel. They helped me realize that just because it seemed as if I wasn't as hurt as others...it mattered just the same. That we're all equal.

I find myself subconsciously doing actions positively...because of them. MCR has affected me so much that I everything I do when confronting a conflict is based totally on their rules.

Realistically, they are the reason I don't resort to violence, accept all sexual orientations, accept peoples' attitudes, accept peoples' differences, accept peoples' opinions that are different from my own and help others out as much as I do.

And it's so nice to know that they've helped me just as much..

A quote from MCRmy.net that I love so much is by one of the soldiers their by the name of Chanelai:

"You're a real fan whether you've been a fan for a day or 5 years. As long as you understand the messages they are sending out to the world."

I'm so much more carefree and open-minded now that I've been introduced to My Chemical Romance. I've known them for 3 years, and not until the second year have I realized that they were trying to send out messages to save lives. I can't wait for their next album, which is said to be released in a couple years.

A simple message can't explain how much I'm thankful to them.

-Kim