May 8, 2008

MISSY'S SIDE OF THE STORY

In the 6th grade I started cutting. It made my day go by much faster knowing that when I got home I could cut, as lame as that sounds.
So I went 3 years cutting and not telling anyone. Over the years it got worse and I slipped deeper into depression.

I had listened to MCR before but when Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge came out I was MCR crazy, like a lot of people. They made me feel like there's some hope in the world for me.
I went on feeling a little better about my life. Until one day when the entire world felt like it would collapse on me.

That night I sat down and planned to kill myself.

The next day, I guess you could say I prepared myself. I sat in my room, writing the letters that I would leave on my bed. Looking at old pictures of everyone, Going through things that I wanted to leave to people. I went into the bathroom and cut the tub water on, I turned the radio on and let the water get warm. I got in with my two razor blades.

I had the radio on a local station. They never played My Chem that much but when they did it was only like "I'm Not okay" or something like that. "Cemetery Drive" started playing and to this day I still swear its not a coincidence. I sat there in the blood soaked water and listened to that song like I had never listened before. I had the razor in my hand and I was squeezing on it so hard it was cutting into my hand.

Gerard sang "Back home, off the run. Singing songs that make you slit your wrists it isn't that much fun. Staring down a loaded gun, So I wont dying, wont stop lying, if you want ill keep on crying did you get what you deserve is this what you always want me for?"

At that moment, that song, that one line, meant so much to me. I felt like MCR had made that song for me, almost like they knew there would one girl in her bathtub waiting to die that needed to hear that one line, of that one song. To this day I get chills when I listen to it. After that I got out of the tub and went and called one of my friends, I told her everything and she helped me tell my mom and I got help, I haven't cut since then.

I know they saved a lot of peoples lives, and that I don't have a special story, but to me they mean the world to me. My Chemical Romance has eternal thanks from me.

They saved my life, and keep on saving it, everyday, every hour, every minute. They keep me going and keep my head up throughout everyday.

If My Chemical Romance ever got ahold of this I would want them to know that they are heroes. My heroes, and a thousand other kids heroes. They need to be recognized for this. It needs to be noticed. They deserve it, and kids around the world need to know that they're here for one reason, and one reason only. To save lives, and I am living proof that they do.

I'll go to my grave loving them.

-Missy Bryant, South Carolina